Once upon a time we were the best of friends, possibly even sisters. We melted over cute guys and we gossiped about the girls we didn’t like. We spent money on each others birthday gifts and threw each other parties. You were all over my Instagram and I was all over yours. Everyone knew we were best friends, who knew that it wasn’t for life.
I do not hold a grudge against any of you. I understand that we had our reasons to walk away and many were left on bad terms. We were blocked and unblocked a million times and no matter how many times we tried to rekindle our friendship, it was lost. But please know that I only speak positively about you all and I feel no negativity towards any of you.
Many times I find myself stumbling across our old videos and photos. And many of these times I find myself upset and all I want to do is run back and message you. What stops me? The fact that I know that what we had, our friendship, is long gone and cannot be fixed again. Our friendship was special and a long time ago, its in the past and there it shall stay, merely a memory.
When people mention your name, my heart will ache. When an old relative asks if you’re coming to their wedding reception, I will silently shake my head, realising how much fun we would of had if you were to come. But although we miss each other and although we have times that we want to go back, we remember that we have both moved on, for the better.
We mustn’t ask ourselves the “what if this never happened”, or the “could have been’s” because everything happens for a reason. You came into my life for a reason and you left for another. God brings people into our lives for a purpose and he takes them away so easily for another one. When someone leaves another one enters. You made me happy and that was all that mattered.
Despite our past friendship, we will walk past each other in the street as if we were strangers. As if our sleepovers never happened and as if our double dates were just a dream. Because that’s how we deal with it, by simply refusing to remember. But I do remember. Every day something will remind me of you or something we once did. And I will smile and I will miss you.
I will always like your photos, always share your tweets and always watch your story. And when you see my notification on your screen your heart will skip, like mine always does when you like mine. And you’ll remember us; when there was an ‘us’.
I miss you so much and sometimes I find myself lost. Because our conversations at 4 in the morning or our time spent stalking your crush will seem like it was a million years ago. And I want nothing more than to relive it now with you at this very moment. And it will hurt more than you’ll ever know because when I said I loved you like you were my sister, I meant it and sisters are for life.
Wherever you end up, whichever path you follow, I wish you the best. I wish you eternal happiness, a world full of hope and the most beautiful life you can live. I remember you now and I will remember you in 20 years to come when my children are making their first friends. And I will look back and speak of you. About our time together and about our friendship.
I thank you for being apart of my life, through the ups and the downs. You’ll never be forgotten. I’ll always be grateful to you for being my first real best friends. All I endure now is the memories that will stay with me forever.
All my love,